A day of restoration, a little work and coping with a monkey mind. I woke up at Bahrija this morning, wrapped up in my sleeping bag in unusual surroundings. I sorely needed to be here and the circumstances helped make the experience stronger as ongoing electrical works meant we had no electricity for most of the day. I cooked, helped with some light work on the beautiful new geodesic domes that are currently popping up here, and managed to fit in some work in the short time window until my laptop battery died, which was a welcome time limit. I was really forcing myself to work while my body just wanted to lay on a rock in the sun. I did actually do some sun worshipping, which was wonderful and really recharged my system with super vibes.
Despite the surroundings, my brain had an overactive day. Being in a place like Bahrija Oasis that has been meticulously planned and built over the span of 15 years really highlighted how much of a butterfly I can be. My lack of one long term project, what feels like my lack of focus. There’s something altogether magical about seeing a long term project coming together. At seeing how someone’s hard work has paid off over time. And how the long way is actually the faster way. My brain suggested I should choose one thing and stick to it, that I should specialize in something particular, that my diverse projects were just spreading me out too thin.
In reality though, I know I am a generalist and that it is also important for me to accept that. Whilst I can crave long term projects and am becoming better at committing myself to them, I also know that my strengths lie in connecting the dots, in seeing how things relate to each other, in finding pockets of intersection between diverse things. Trying to ignore that or brush that aside would mean sidelining what is actually my centre.